Why is everything happening tonight? I just want to go see Frightened Rabbit. (Is anyone else absolutely having a relationship with The Midnight Organ Fight?)

But I can't. Because:

1. Inspired by San Francisco's Porchlight, the Back Fence PDX storytelling series commences tonight. Because Melissa Lion is hard to say no to, I will be participating. When I get nervous, I pee. It should be good.
Tour de Crepes, 2921 NE Alberta, 473-8657, $7

2. There's a new "literary convergence" in town: The Unwin-Dunraven Literary Ecclesia (gulp) tonight presents readings from Bethany Ides and Emily Kendal Frey, with music from Old Time Relijun's Arrington de Dionyso. It's the second quarterly event for the series, with plans to eventually evolve into a full-fledged small press—and the name, UDLE founder Garrett Strickland explained to me, is a Borges reference. What, you didn't get it?
Funky Church, 2456 SE Tamarack, 7 pm, $5-12 sliding scale ("includes a free chapbook of previously unpublished work by the writers featured the night of the event, as well as free wine, beer, and light snacks.")

3. DIY, Portland Listening Party at the Waypost. Tonight's topic: gender expression. "Can gender be a DIY project?" I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that the answer is YES.
Waypost, 3120 N Williams, 7 pm, FREE

4/5. Saša Stanišić is reading at Powell's Cedar Hills, 7 pm; John Price at Powell's City of Books, 7:30 pm. These are both great-sounding readings: What I've read of John Price's goofily titled memoir Man Killed by Pheasant and Other Kinship is surprisingly funny, while Stanišić's How the Soldier Repairs the Gramophone has gotten some good reviews. (Read an excerpt here.)

Seriously, literary types? Start a phone tree or something. This is too much for one night to handle.