The weeks between June 19th and September 5th are known, in my home country, as "silly season." Because everyone is on vacation, and the news slows to a trickle. Not unlike here in Portland, frankly. Still, it's reassuring to know that the Daily Mail can turn a Jelly Wrestling Attack into a 1400 word news story: "Pictured: The bikini-clad Cambridge student arrested for attacking spectator at jelly-wrestling match."
TABLOID STORIES: Make you proud to be British...

She then grabbed a bottle of Lambrini and made for the exit but was stopped by two burly bouncers. When they tried to confiscate the bottle of cheap perry, she punched one and headbutted the other, forcing them to call for reinforcements.

Police finally arrived and arrested her after the jelly debacle unfolded on Sunday afternoon, taking her to a nearby station where she received a caution for common assault.

One undergraduate who witnessed the incident said: 'The crowd gets to choose the victor by cheering - the fighter with the louder cheer wins.

'Nadia had been a bit aggressive and probably wasn't as attractive as the other girl, so she was booed although she'd probably been the better fighter.

'She went mad and punched a girl dressed as a butterfly standing at the edge of the crowd. Blood gushed from her nose everywhere.

That is THE PINNACLE of our trade, ladies and gentlemen. The absolute pinnacle.