The city's water bureau released the security report from early Saturday morning, when two skinny dippers were busted.

First, meet Ashley and Ryan, who--according to the report--did not object to Portland Water Bureau security officer (or "water security specialist") Steven G. Swan taking their photo "for identification purposes." I have a feeling they might have objected had Swan said the pictures were for "public ridicule purposes."

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Here's are bits of the various officers'--er, excuse me, water security specialists'--reports (which say that "unless things change, the suspects will be cited into Community Court"):

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Check out the rest of the report here (it's a PDF). And water gods willing, we'll have security footage very shortly! UPDATE: The water gods are frowning on us and our Macs, which have trouble with .avi files (and we've tried all sorts of tricks). But KGW has the grainy silent footage.