Like the acting and convoluted storylines of "porn," but hate the "sex"? Then have I got a video for you! Check out the SFW opening scene of this porn movie, which involves a creepy professor, a Barbie doll from Hungary and two gigantic snakes: one in the tree, and one... well, you can probably guess. (Don't worry, sex haters! The video stops right before we see snake #2!)

Tip o' the hat to Defamer!