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Why are these 2,008 drummers from the Olympics opening ceremony smiling? Because they want us to know that they have absolutely no intention of using their awe-inspiring ability to work together to invade our country and enslave our lazy asses throughout eternity. (Gulp.) Thanks guys!

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Hey, look everybody! It's the oldest member of the Chinese gymnastics squad.

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President Bush to world: "Huh-huh-huh. Me like beach volleyball. Huh-huh-huh."