I know a few of you are strongly considering auditioning for PIZZAZZ: Portland's Funnest Talent Show (especially since you can win $1000 dope cash money). But I also know that some of you are holding back because you're afraid that you may have to compete against "Ice-Skating Chimps." WELL FEAR NOT. As it turns out, the Ice-Skating Chimps will not be able to compete in this year's Pizzazz, due to a previously scheduled engagement -- which means you might actually have a chance to win this thing!

For rules, videos and the audition form, head over to the Pizzazz micro-site!

And for those who haven't witnessed the unbelievable awesomeness of Ice-Skating Chimps, please watch the following film. I'M SERIOUS... these monkeys make the opening ceremony of the Olympics look like a tub of crap!

Note to commenters: Though you may certainly try to make me feel guilty for loving this, rest assured your efforts will not only be disregarded, but I will also be praying that you get cancer and die.