Disaster Movie, the latest from the crack team of cinematic parodists responsible for Epic Movie, Date Movie, and Scary Movie (where do they come up with these amazing titles?!) opens today, but in a shocking development it was not screened in time for us to put the review in the paper.

This means one of two things:
1. The movie's a big, honking turd.
2. The film is an indisputable masterpiece and, as such, any critical reaction to it is irrelevant.

Which could it be? Our intrepid Kiala Kazebee skipped Obama's speech at the DNC last night to watch Disaster Movie, so you can find out the answer in our web-exclusive review.