You might know Toad as that annoying little fucker who greets you at the end of every fourth level (except the last one) of Super Mario Bros. and breaks your heart with the news that--despite you risking your very life to make it this far--the princess is in another castle. Upon hearing that fateful line as a NES-obsessed kid, "Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle," I'd always try and shoot a fireball at Toad, but alas, it never worked. The ultimate video game killjoy, Toad was the most hated character of the 8-bit universe, even more so than Bowser--whose motive to kidnap and kill/eat/marry/whatever Princess Peach was essential to the game--because, really, what kind of sick bastard waits in a dark castle (again and again and again) only to break the news that all your effort was for
But maybe I'm wrong about Toad.
John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats and Kaki King have shed some light on this misunderstood mass of pixels with their new song (the appropriately named) "Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle." Sung from Toad's point of view, the song illustrates how the "humanoid mushroom" feels while waiting alone for Mario to come. The sulfur stench, the screams, the darkness... Toad had it pretty bad. Even the line "When you came in, I could breathe again," is a bit heartbreaking to hear. While I'm not going to completely forgive Toad for mocking me at the end of each world, this song has made me a little less filled with hate than I was before. I suppose that's a good thing.
The Mountain Goats & Kaki King - "Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle."
End Hits: Now whose gonna write a song about King Hippo? I have a lot to say about that guy...