According to CNN, stocks took a massive dive into the toilet today, dropping... wait for it... OVER 500 POINTS.

The Dow Jones industrial average (INDU) lost 504 points, or 4.4%. It was the biggest one-day decline for the Dow on a point basis since Sept. 17, 2001, when the market reopened for trading after having been closed in the aftermath of 9/11 terrorist attacks.

(Psst... slowly walk out of your office, then run as fast as your legs will carry you to the bank. Take every penny out, run home and stick it in your mattress. Then lock the door, get out your shotgun, and sit quietly in the dark until this is all over.)

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