No need to worry your stereotypically bong resin-filled heads, dear liberals: Barack Obama is going to be the next president of the United States.
How do I know this? My Xbox told me.
More specifically, a poll conducted by Rock the Vote via the Xbox Live online gaming service shows Obama beating McCain by a solid 12 percentage points.
Still doubtful that Rock the Vote could conduct a useful, democratic poll via a videogame console? Tell that to the 100,000 participants, Captain Buzzkill! That's more people than participated in the Gallup, CNN and NBC polls COMBINED.
Then again, even discounting the widespread political apathy embodied by the "gamer" demographic and the ease with which those unable to actually vote could participate in this poll, the entirety of the poll's data is directly contradicted by basically every other poll in existence.
We should probably just be happy the masses of Xbox Live didn't vote "Your Mom's Cock" into office.