No, I didn't think I'd ever put "postmodern" and "Jean Claude Van Damme" in the same sentence either--but, well, here's the excellent trailer for JCVD. Goddamn, I want to see this.
Watching that trailer makes me want to see this again:
With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.