For example: "Maverick I can do, but Messiah is above my pay grade." This week's New Yorker also features a quiz asking who wrote a book relating an incident in which "Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, 'You're getting a little thin up there,' and McCain shot back, 'At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c**t.'" That's a vigorous wit, right there, folks. A vigorous wit, indeed.

There's a bit at the end, too, where McCain wishes Obama well. It's strange. Obama is pretty funny too. At a dinner held by Catholics in New York, he said there's "no group with whom he'd rather be palling around this evening." He also added that he loves the Waldorf astoria. "From the doorstep, you can see all the way to the Russian tearoom." Ha!

"Barack is actually Swahili for 'that one.' And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I would ever run for president." "If I had to name my greatest strength it would be my humility. If I had to name my greatest weakness, it's possible that I am a little too awesome."