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Okay, here's my theory. More so than your 21st birthday, New Year's Eve, or a wedding full of attractive (and drunk) members of the opposite sex--tonight just might be the easiest night to get laid in your entire life.

Sure, an Obama victory will be a historic night for America politics, blah, blah, blah... it will also be the perfect opportunity to hook up with a random--or not so random--partner at an after party (ours included), in the streets, on 82nd and Powell, etc.

Plus, what progressive voter worth his/her weight in "Hope" lawn signs wouldn't want to celebrate the end of the Bush years, and McCain's concession speech, with a little post-election boot-knockin'? I'm just saying, if you are single there might not ever be a better night than tonight to take a carefree trip to the boneyard with someone you just met. God bless this country.

One more thing, be sure to wear some protection. You don't want your liberal loins "fired up and ready to go," nor do you want to be part of the Obama baby boom nine months from today.