I just came down from flavor tripping and boy is my palate tired. Also, I'm a bit drunk. I wasn't trying to get a bit drunk, but that's what happens when you hit the Miracle Fruit. The stuff basically rewires your tongue, erasing your ability to taste sour and bitter flavors for a short period of time. The upshot of the whole thing is that a lemon tastes like candy fruit and balsamic vinegar tastes like a high fructose fruit drink.

But what about booze? Well, let's start with Trillium Absinthe. This stuff can be quite bitter if you don't hit it with ice water and a smidge of sugar, but under the influence of Miracle Fruit, it's all anise, all the time. It's kinda like choking on the strongest black liquorish rope you've ever put in your mouth. But strangely, if you add a bit of rice vinegar, the whole thing mellows and turns into this almost nutty tasting, light anisette liquor with a touch of salt. Yes, I added rice vinegar to absinthe, which is not half as adventurous as some of the crap I've mixed at home at 4am after a vicious bender.

The Partida reposado tequila that's sitting on a shelf behind my desk, tasted like ultra smooth agave juice. No kick at all. I could drink it by the water glass full. But I have a feeling it's a bit like a hypnotized rattlesnake. It's fun for awhile, until it revives and starts to bite... YOUR BRAIN!!!

Here's the thing about booze that makes you shiver and shake: it slows you the hell down. Under the influence of Miracle Fruit, that initial slowdown is completely absent. As I was told before popping the tablet in my mouth, "Generally, stuff tastes bitter because it's bad for you in large quantities. So just be careful."

The fruit is miraculous with booze, yes, but with beer it has a tendency to dumb everything down. A Guinness winds up tasting much like cold chocolate and a Rogue Brutal Bitter was tamed to the level of a mild IPA pussycat. Still though, incredibly smooooth.

I believe a Miracle Fruit bender is in order sometime in the near future. Maybe I should invite Lance Mayhew, whose been experimenting with this stuff in cocktails for quite awhile now. If you'd like to get in on the game, the tablets are available for sale at R6XX.com.

In other news:

This week saw a Dragon Fighting a Rogue and the purported ousting of Kieran Sienkiewicz at Integrity Spirits (12 Bridges Gin, Lovejoy Vodka, Trillium Absinthe) where he was the master distiller. Are these stories related? I'm not sure. I have a sneaking suspicion that if Rogue buys the Dragon, which it looks like they intend to do based on this document found on the secretary of states website registering the Green Dragon name to Rogue River Brewing Company, they may just try to work their way into Integrity as well. Why? Because Integrity is competition and sources have told the Mercury that they are continually outselling Rogue. Granted, this is pure speculation and probably just the booze talking... Still...

Anywho! If you want to shake off some drama this weekend, why not head on down to Highball Distillery this Saturday, at 610 SE 10th, from noon til five and take a look around. They're having an Open House and I'm almost certain they'll have samples. Me? I'll likely stop by and try something to wash down the crickets and steer testicles that I will be cooking and eating that morning. Don't ask. I'll tell you all about it later.

'Till then. Bottoms up!