It's only day three of the Mercury Online Charity Auction, and we've already had boffo response! And don't forget, all the proceeds go to Portland Women's Crisis Line which assists survivors of domestic violence and sexual abuse. Plus they're getting a matching donation from The Collins Foundation for up to $10,000! SO BID BIG!

Plus, there are tons of great deals left. Check out these beauties!

LEANNE MARSHALL'S PROJECT RUNWAY DRESS! Currently bidding at $51, this super cute dress not only looks good in the picture, in real life it looks GORGE. Buy it for your sweetie, and she'll have bragging rights all year!

Another great deal is DAN SAVAGE SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS, in which you get 15 unfettered minutes of one-on-one telephone talk time to the master of advice himself! Get your most pressing problem solved quick! Ask him personal questions! Argue with him about same-sex marriage! WE DON'T CARE! It's for charity! And gulp! As of right now, it's only $9.50!

And if you have a friend who's even vaguely interested in comics, please get 'em to check out our DARKHORSE NERDGASM PACKAGE! Currently going for a measly $56, this truly awe-inspiring package would ordinarily be worth $500 easy. Are you freaking kidding me? Even if you hate comics, you'd make a killing reselling this stuff on eBay! What do I care? As long as the Crisis Line gets its dough, I'm happy.

So we've got a super limited edition of "CINDY THE EROTIC PLEASER" PILLOWS (only ten, individually listed -- click on "Browse by Title" to find 'em all quick), and one of them is still going for only $1.99! WTF?? Snap one of these suckers up for a present that will never, ever, NEVER be forgotten!

So what are you waiting for? Start snatching up the gifts of a lifetime, and feel like a goddamn saint while you're doing it! AUCTION ENDS A WEEK FROM TODAY AT 5 PM.