Israeli airstrikes rain down on Gaza for the third day; Barack Obama inherits yet another international crisis as a belated Christmas present.

Despite basement low approval ratings, Condoleeza Rice claims people will one day thank George Bush. Why wait? George Bush, thanks so much… for ruining our f-bombing lives.

"The men's room at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport where Republican Sen. Larry Craig was arrested in a sex sting is losing it appeal as a tourist stop, an official said." First Mt. Rushmore… now this?!

The newest idea for filling Obama's senate seat? Allowing the Illinois House and Senate to decide. Gov. Rod Blagojevich has his own idea: "Fuuuuuuck Yooooooooou!"

According to a new poll, sexual abstinence pledges are ineffective… but they are good for making Christian parents shut up momentarily.

A Russian professor predicts America will fall apart by 2010. Well, professor, when we collapse and stop sending you Jessica Alba bikini pictures, we hope you'll be happy.

And finally, here's a Blogtown Public Service Announcement: Did you water your Christmas tree? If not, this is what will surely happen. (BTW, could someone put the Benny Hill theme song on this?)