10:00 ABC BARBARA WALTERS SPECIAL
Babs interviews one of my fave actors of all time Patrick Swayze (EEEEE!) in which he will try to convince us that he's not as dying as we think he is. Check out this clip, and be sure to pick up an extra box of PUFFS (plus lotion).
10:00 FX DAMAGES
Season two premiere! Did anyone else get as bored with this show as I did? Glenn Close stars as a wheeling-dealing sneaky-pants lawyer who will happily do whatever it takes to win a case—even MURDER? William Hurt joins the cast this season, and while it's too convoluted for my taste, there are those who violently claim it's better than Mad Men. Idiot. Anyway, check out this scene, and in the comments below write a better response to the question, "What's in the box?" Shouldn't be too hard.
8:00 The CW 13: FEAR IS REAL
Debut! Did The Blair Witch Project freak your shit out? Me neither. Therefore don't expect to get the shit freaked out of you by the awkwardly named 13: Fear is Real—in which 13 contestants fight to "stay alive" during presumably horrifying challenges presented to them by a "Mastermind" of terror. One by one they'll be "killed off" (not really… BOOOOO!!!) with the winner taking home the unsurprising amount of $66,666 (GET IT?!? That's what Satan spends every month for pot). Here's the promo, and stop telling me my fear is fake. BECAUSE MY FEAR IS REAL!!