As you already know, your goatee IS your identity. After all, how will people know you're a douchebag, if your goatee isn't there to scream it to the world? Well, now you can protect your precious goatee throughout eternity with the greatest invention since ketchup flavored potato chips. It's the GOATEE SAVER, and if you don't think you need one? Then you haven't watched this commercial. HOW HAVE WE DOUCHEBAGS SURVIVED WITHOUT THIS MARVELOUS DEVICE?!?

Tip o' the hat to BWE!