Red alert! Teens make sex jokes! Up in suburban Washington, a high school student body government is making headlines for printing t-shirts covered with ridiculous, possibly sexual innuendos. According to the Seattle Times, as part of a "Battle of the Sexes" week the student body printed up shirts with slogans for each class — Freshman were Krabby Patty, sophomores were Stain, juniors were Mole Rat and seniors were Burnt Toast.

After some quick work at Urban Dictionary, parents and teachers were roundly offended to find their students were now emblazoned with a term the internets defines as "disease-infested female genitalia."


I'm sorry I found this image.

My favorite part about the controversy, though, is students' defense that they got the nicknames from Nickelodeon shows Kim Possible and Spongebob Squarepants. This "Squarepants Defense" is definitely bound for urban dictionary with the definition "wherein one claims that everything dirty he/she knows he/she learned from children's television."

But the point is: sexual euphemisms are all around us. You cannot escape any word, no matter its decency, being misconstrued to sexual ends when given the proper voice inflection. For example, remember when we all learned what "bagpiping" means? And how it changed the whole meaning of "Portland's bagpiping unicyclist"?