The White House reports that the country's deficit is expected to top $1.8 trillion. (Fun fact: Did you know if you laid out 1.8 trillion one dollar bills end to end, you could pick them all up to pay the deficit?)
The price of stamps has risen to 44 cents today! (Not that you care, but someone should tell Grandma.)
A U.S. soldier opens fire on his own men, killing five, at a clinic designed for treating soldiers suffering from war stress.
New rule: No texting while driving a trolley!
A female U.S. journalist is freed from an Iranian prison after being accused of being a spy and buying a bottle of wine. This is Iran, after all.
In other women-hating Middle Eastern news, a judge in Saudi Arabia says it's A-OK for men to slap their wives if they spend too much on their burqas—which of course, they're forced to wear.
In other fashion news, 62-year-old Cher takes the stage in Vegas wearing a mesh bodysuit very similar to the one she wore in the "Turn Back Time" video, and YES, there are pictures. Do you want to go there? Do you? (Why am I even asking?)
And finally, do you love your mother? In that case, what's wrong with loving your best friend's mother, too? Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg reunite their "Dick in a Box" characters to celebrate Mother's Day in a very sexy, SEXY way. (Eww Alert!)