UGLY AS SHIT AND REALLY EXPENSIVE!!! The Oregonian heads to Kansas City to check out the Cordish-developed Power & Light District, on which Mayor Sam Adams' remodel of the Rose Quarter will be based.

YOU CAN RENAME MAJOR STREETS IF THEY AREN'T MAJOR STREETS!!! The Oregonian insists on drawing out the death rattle of this story.

POPE NEVER IN HITLER YOUTH!!! Says a spokesman.

OPRAH TELLS STUDENTS IT'S GREAT TO HAVE A PRIVATE JET!!! Ah, private jets. The peoples' transportation. The sustainable option. Bleh.

TOM HANKS STILL REASONABLY FUNNY!!! Well, it's news to me...

EEE-HEE!!! Michael Jackson carries out secret rehearsals in Los Angeles.

GAY-HATING MISS CALIFORNIA PARDONED BY DONALD TRUMP!!! Asked why, said he "liked her tits."

TED WHEELER WANTS A $70K FACEBOOK PAGE!!! The county chair may have laid off 18 deputy district attorneys, but social media is the future, he says. From a blogger to a soon to be ghost-blogger, Ted, I gotta tell ya, the court system comes first.

Good day.