It's a sad, but true fact that the standards of modern pedophiles are sinking lower and lower. Thanks to the average child's increased awareness of sexual predators, perverts are now forced to choose really ugly ones to molest. As proof, check out this PSA from the '80s, in which a series of creepy dad types use their bizarre electrical powers to bone a child who looks kind of like the kid from Mask. Sadly, this will be the closest thing the kid will ever have to a positive sexual experience.
Hat tips to Everything is Terrible!