"I WANT THIS DONE NOW. NOW, IF THERE ARE NO DEADLINES, NOTHING GETS DONE IN THIS TOWN!!!" That's the President on health care reform. Swoon:

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OBAMA: SAYS REFORM 'ISN'T ABOUT ME...'

PASSENGER WRESTS GUN FROM CARJACKER, SHOOTS FLEEING ROBBER!!! On Southeast 84th.

NINE WOMEN ACCUSE TRAILER PARK MANAGER OF SEXUAL ASSAULT!!! At 6415 NE Killingsworth.

MADOFF BILL WOULD CHARGE RICH INMATES $90 A DAY FOR JAIL!!! Ouch.

BABY BOOMERS MOST SELFISH GENERATION IN AMERICAN HISTORY!!! What hope for their children?

PEEPHOLE OUTRAGE!!! New York Post is outraged by these hot nude pixxx of alleged ESPN anchor.

CHRIS BROWN!!! Is sorry:


BROWN: "I AM VERY SAD AND VERY ASHAMED OF WHAT I HAVE DONE..."

BACKYARD BURIALS ARE THE NEW IN-HOME BIRTHS!!! Except, you know, they're stupid.

Good day.