Obama begins his high level talks with China by saying, "Please don't purchase our country on eBay."
Sarah Palin steps aside as governor of Alaska, vows to continue to be annoying.
American choreographer Merce Cunningham dies at age 90.
More good news for the economy, new home sales soar in June. Meanwhile, haunted mansion sales remain stagnant.
Headline: "100 Canaries Seized in Connecticut Bird-Fighting Ring." Ummm… what?
And finally, as mentioned earlier, it's hot. Which means you stink. Which also means you need to buy some of Doc Bottoms All-Natural Aspray, a-hole.