Are you sick of trying to remember complicated lock combinations, or twisting cumbersome handles to get quick access to your loaded revolver? Are you tired of your idiot child NOT knowing where the bathroom is? Then by all means, store your weapons in the new Nike Gun Safe. Now getting your gun out of the top of your closet is easier than ever—so easy in fact, even your idiot child can do it! (That is, if she doesn't accidentally pee on it first, because she's too stupid to find the bathroom! HA! HAHAHAHAHA!!) Order now and also receive a horrifying clown.
Hat tips to Everything is Terrible!