RANDY LEONARD WANTS TO BUY MADE IN OREGON SIGN!!! And change it to read "Portland." At least, that's what he says he wants it to say. This week.
A ROOF FOR PGE PARK??? Oh, goody! Can it say "Portland" on it, too?
APPLE PROFITS SURGE 47% And you bought stock. Right? Tell me you bought stock, already.
CEO PERKS BOOM AFTER BAILOUT!!! That would be the bailout organized by Hank Paulson. Father of Merritt Paulson, who is now seeking public money to build a baseball stadium in Beaverton, on top of the renovations to PGE Park, here in town.
PUBLIC OPTION BACK ON THE TABLE!!! What?! Really!?! Ah. States can "opt out." That'll be interesting. Might even start a civil war!
OREGON RURAL JOBLESS CLAIMS IMPROVE!!! Only because workers are giving up searching for employment. D'oh!
WHAT PRICE, FAME??? Multnomah County's library blogger contemplates Miley Cyrus's decision to quit Twitter.
GAY MOBSTER REGRETS HIS LIFE OF CRIME!!! Vito? Is that you?
ENDORSEMENT!!! Amanda Fritz endorses Lew Frederick for House District 43. But who will the Mercury endorse? We better decide. We've got to write the damned thing in half an hour.