Thanksgiving: it’s one of the most painful, awkward, and oftentimes, physically painful holidays of the year. So why not make a little money off it?
The Mercury wants to print YOUR most horrible and TRUE Thanksgiving story in our upcoming T-day issue—and the best essay will win $200! These stories could include, but are not limited to…

• Family fistfights!
• Unsavory romantic interludes!
• Embarrassing announcements!
• Drunken debauchery!
• Gluttonous explosions!
• Near-death experiences!
• House fires and/or skin burns!
• Or… you know… whatever!

The most readable essays will be printed in the Mercury’s “Worst Thanksgiving EVER!” issue on Nov 26, with the best entry receiving $200! (Stick that in your gravy boat!)
Send your entries via email to me, with “Worst Thanksgiving Ever Essay Contest” in the subject line, and be sure to include your name and daytime phone number. ALL ENTRIES SHOULD BE 500 WORDS OR LESS, AND ARE DUE NO LATER THAN NOON, FRIDAY NOVEMBER 20!

So don’t delay! Send in your worst Thanksgiving memory today! YOU COULD GET PAID FOR ALL THAT PAIN.