As I mentioned in my TV column this week, those who refuse to watch Mad Men (and specifically Mad Men season finales) in a timely manner, and then scream "SPOILER!!" whenever anybody else wants to talk about it CAN SUCK IT. (Not necessarily a "Fandango Can Suck It™, but still... you can suck it.) However! I'm happy to meet you halfway on this, and therefore I will only utter a few cryptic remarks about last night's Mad Men season finale, so that those who would like to post some comments in that commenty-thingy down there can do so, and so the "SPOILER!!" yellers can continue "can sucking it."
1) HORSE KICK TO THE FACE!!
2) "Thop thaying that!"
3) HORSE KICK TO THE "FART" DEPARTMENT DOOR!!
4) "Umm… what do you mean 'affair'? I mean… sure… he works for the governor's office, and I threw a fundraiser for him, and I kissed him in my car for five minutes, but other than that I've never seen this man before in my life!"
5) On TV, crying babies are the deus ex machina of domestic abuse.
6) "I don't want to make a career out of being there for you to kick me when you fail." YA BURNT!!
7) New plan, guys. I want you to fire me so I can leave and start a new blog… BUT JOAN COMES WITH ME.
8) And you know what? Screw Conrad Hilton. What the fuck was that all about anyway?
9) A big thing in the 60s: Offering someone an amazing employment opportunity, but before they accept, you have to apologize for hurting their feelings.
10) Five bucks says the housekeeper gets stuck with Sally Draper—forever.
Here's a video of Roger's best one-liners!