Obama hates all your ideas about Afghanistan, National Security Team! Suck it!
Balloon Boy's parents are going to plead guilty to charges stemming from the most elaborate April Fools joke ever! Too bad they did it in October.
Facebook is totally a legit alibi! Maybe I should check out this so-called Facebook and see what it's all about...
Ft. Hood shooting suspect apparently visited a strip club days before the rampage. No, really.
Hey, Oregon! We're just like California! Isn't that cool? I mean, the Pew Center for the States ranks us along with our neighbors to the south one of the top 10 states facing economic peril! Maybe the Beach Boys will sing about us, too!
Birther/anti-immigration nutjob Lou Dobbs is leaving CNN. ¿Por que?
And finally, Sean Hannity plans to address Jon Stewart's claims that he doctored protest footage to enhance his arguments. I'd come up with a joke, but I'm too busy laughing with glee! Here's the original clip of Stewart calling out Hannity: