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I'd just like to point out to the internet that the Mercury girl date package is only at $127.50 right now. We are actually going for less than the boy date. This is historically unprecedented, not to mention distinctly humiliating, and it occurs to me that the language of the auction item might be a problem. I, for one, do not want to hang out with a group of girls who threaten to get drunk and "tell a few too many truths." That sounds fucking terrible. Plus, in our eBay listings we had to be somewhat judicious with the words "date" and "get wasted," which might have led to this item sounding less fun than it actually is. (Do I sound desperate right now? I feel a little desperate.) So allow me to rephrase it: "Win a date with the Mercury girls! Get wasted—drinks on us!" Is that a little bit better? No intimate confessions, I promise—just rowdy drinking, plus karaoke or dancing or pool or whatever bar-based activity gets you excited (hand jobs not included, but not NOT included, if you know what I mean). Buy us here.