WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE STOP WITH THE "SANTA CLAUSE" NONSENSE ALREADY, AND REALIZE THAT CHRISTMAS IS ACTUALLY ABOUT CHRIST?? SO MUCH SO, IN FACT, THAT I CAN'T TURN MY CAPS OFF!!
Oh, there we go. That's better. Anyway, for those who really, really want to bum out your holiday guests, or Santa while he's dropping off the presents, perhaps you should purchase the "CHRIST-mas Tree" (get it?) which lovingly shoves a New Testament torture device into the comfort of your living room. AND IT'S ONLY $299.99!!! (Christ, what is wrong with my caps lock?)

Get yours here, and thanks for the tip A.V. Club!