Yesterday, former Trail Blazer Chris Dudley announced his candidacy for Oregon governor in 2010. Some people in the media suggested that perhaps his lack of much political experience makes him an unlikely candidate.
NOT SO! Here are four solid reasons why Chris Dudley is uniquely qualified to become Oregon's next governor:
• He is tall. According to special science reported on CNN, tall people make more money and are natural leaders. Dudley is 6'11", which makes him more than a foot more of a leader than the average man. "If there's a cat stuck in a tree outside or an amendment placed on a high shelf, he'll be the governor who gets it down safely," says Blazer reporter Ezra Ace Caraeff.
• Construction projects are key for any governor. As shown by his free throw stats, Dudley is very good at laying bricks.
• He knows how to make damn good cheesy scalloped potatoes. Oregon needs a change. Oregon needs more cheesy scalloped potatoes.
• His governorship will give us the chance to run this photo of him every time he makes a speech: