Nothing's going on except… DEMS PASS HEALTH CARE REFORM BILL!
Wait… Sen. Harry Reid votes against his own bill? Nope, a momentary (and hilarious) mind fart.
Obama: "Thanks for the health care, now I'm off to Hawaii, bitches!"
Not exactly surprising: Nazis steal Auschwitz sign to fund terrorist attacks.
Note to anyone reading this in the Midwest: YOU'RE SNOWED IN.
RIP "Sports Machine": Broadcaster George Michael is dead.
Small, invitation only funeral for Brittany Murphy this evening.
Cougar Alert! Susan Sarandon splits from Tim Robbins; is back on the market, dudes!
Injuries, shminjuries... Blazers take Spurs, 98-94!
Thief steals AG John Kroger's briefcase and badge from car! Bad mistake, thief! Baaaaad mistake.
And finally Tay "Chocolate Rain" Zonday sings "You're a Mean One, Mister Grinch." Because it's Christmas! And the internet, yo!