Today marks the last day to pick up a paper copy of my patented drunken health and fitness plan. It is by far the easiest way to maintain or gain fitness in the New Year. All you have to do is add a few exercises to the drinking routine I'm sure you implemented long, long ago.
As I was writing the exercise plan, I became obsessed with an international organization of running drunks known as the Hash House Harriers. When intern Ali became of aware of my interest in the group, she informed me (over and over and over again) that she'd actually gone on a run with one of the local Hash House Harrier chapters and wrote a blog post about it for a rival website.
For the next week all she ever said to me was, "Did you read my blog post about the running group? I sent you the link. Did you read it yet?"
In fact I did. You should check it out. Here's an excerpt:
One young man introduced himself as “Banana Condom,” a pretty tame pseudonym compared to most. Then, after a warm-up song about altar boys in the rectory - and please imagine my amused but somewhat embarrassed expression as this was being performed, quite loudly, in the middle of the sidewalk in the nice part of downtown - we were off.