DONATE!—Before their country was devastated by a colossal earthquake, Haiti was already the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere. Tonight's much needed benefit show features Portland's music elite—Thomas Lauderdale of Pink Martini, Storm Large, and plenty more—banding together with a goal to raise $25,000 for Mercy Corps. If you still have yet to text "HAITI" to 90999, or just want to do more, here is your chance. EAC
w/Portland Cello Project, Janice Scroggins, Cool Nutz, Holcombe Waller & more; Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 7:30 pm, $30

STRIPPERS AND FIREARMS—It's Paideia Week at Reed College, in which any student or alum can teach a free class, resulting in everything from tonight's modern firearms training seminar to the economics of stripping class on Saturday, led by a stripper and certified tax preparer. (Oh, and that class is also a bike ride, in case you forgot you were in Portland.) SM
Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock, through Sun Jan 24, full schedule

You'll have time to sleep when you're asleep. Until then... My, What a Busy Week!