I WAS WALKING behind the public library a few months ago, and saw what seemed to be a tie-dyed shirt strung up with twine, hanging from a tree. Assuming it was some creative hippie method of caring for a new addition to one's wardrobe, I just let it be and forgot about it. Today I was walking by there again and saw it still hanging from the tree. After all this time I was curious. I thought maybe someone got stoned and forgot about it, and decided to take it down and investigate. Inside the shirt, on a Frisbee wrapped in red velvet—to my surprise and disgust—were a dead crow and a little pouch that I was too weirded out to open. Seriously? WTF. Here I was expecting an awesome hippie shirt or some such stoner thing, and all I found was something gross that is still confusing the fuck out of me. To the sad freaks practicing amateur witchcraft (or whatever the hell the purpose of that concoction was) behind the public library, I request you knock it the fuck off. What if some kid had found that, and had been so traumatized that he decided to never be curious about anything ever again? What if I get polio because I interrupted your stupid little ritual? Get a healthier hobby, you weird fucks.—Anonymous
I just got a response from the person who put together that little package. I'm pretty sure it's real. If you want to know the answer to the riddle (it's even weirder than you think), I've posted it after the jump.
to the jerk that ruined goodstuffs burial. GOOD STUFF was my friend i found him hurt by that tree behind the public library. I nursed him back to health after he was injured by an animal and he started to fly a bit, BUT ANYWAYS he died and your dumbass didnt stop to think "hmm this package is ceratinly wrapped with care", and FAR from being in anyone and any childs way! he is a bird he belong in the sky so i wrapped him with his favorite food and something i made him, put him in the tree i found him at and decided not to bury him cause HE WAS A BIRD they belong in the sky! so i let him rot-until you ruined it-in the sky you are such a moron to not consider anything else but "witchcraft" cause we all know theres a huge witchcraft scene in portland and you wouldent get polio or anything else from touching a dead bird maybe if you took his blood and injected it into you but thats not the point the point is you fucked up Good Stuffs loving burial and i hope he did give you some weird disease god you are a fucking retard, go wack it and die