Did you realize it's the year 2010 already? I know! We have shit to do!

We've gotta, like, go invent dinosaur cyborgs and spaceships that aren't in any way shaped like penises!

We do not have six hours of free time to watch dudes with names like "Peyton" and "Reggie" smash into each other while sublimating urges to smooch one another! The future is all about awkward kisses in the middle of nationally televised sporting events, and this "Super Bowl" is a relic of a bygone era.

Luckily, thanks to the finest technology of 1991, those of you who still feel culturally obligated to watch some amount of football today can still get your recommended daily allowance of Colts on Saints action in a convenient bite-sized 10 minute chunk.

Tecmo Super Bowl, do your thing: