... then that means GEORGE FUCKING CLOONEY MAY BE COMING TO PORTLAND!!

According to Us Magazine, Italian hottie Elisabetta Canalis (AKA girlfriend to the Cloon) is in serious talks with the producers of Leverage (shot here in Portland) to make regular appearances in season three as a "mysterious international secret agent." (Is there any other kind?)
NOW! There's no freaking way that the Cloon is gonna let his hot girlfriend walk around Portland unattended while I'm in the picture, THEREFORE we can almost absolutely correctly assume that our fair city will eventually be on Clooney's visiting list. On three everybody... one... two... three.

What Clooney doesn't know is that I'm going to ignore Elisabetta completely, and bone HIM instead! (That's what's known as a "twist" ending. Man, I'm good. Hey, they should get me to write for Leverage! [Thereby making it that much easier for me to bone Clooney. Heh, heh, hehhhhhhhh.])