- Carlos Boozer unhinged his jaw, ate the sandwich, then kept playing.
Last night the Portland Trail Blazers defeated the Utah Jazz... I think. They were up 25 when I left early to beat traffic. Let me just double check that...
...OH DEAR GOD.
Turns out that while I was driving away in my Hummer and scraping off side mirrors in the parking lot (sorry I didn't leave a note, I'm embarrassed of my penmanship), the Blazers blew a 25 point lead to the Utah Jazz and fell 93-89 in overtime. The Jazz had dominated the Blazers all season long, winning three straight with ease, but Portland was fast out of the gates thanks to balanced play from a (healthy-looking) Brandon Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, and Nicolas Batum. That was until the homestretch, where a stunned Rose Garden crowd watched in horror as Utah outscore the home team 44-19 in the final 19 minutes. Now the Blazers are only one game away from being out of the playoff standings, while last night's crowd now needs intensive therapy.
When asked by my therapist where the bad men from the Utah Jazz touched me, all I can do is point to my broken heart and sob.