What, no ASS?
  • What, no "ASS?"

Right this very moment, 42-year-old Hillsboro resident John McAllister is attempting to break the world record high score on Atari's coin-op classic Asteroids.

He's been shattering space rocks and murdering passing aliens for roughly 54 hours, and McAllister's online spectators estimate that, at the current rate, he'll break the world record of 41,336,440 (set in 1982 by 15-year-old New Jersey resident Scott Safran) in roughly 3 more hours.

Check back here later tonight to see if John managed to attain digital godhood or will spend the evening crying, listening to Morrissey and cutting himself.

Alternately, catch the whole thing live on justin.tv.

Update: As a bit of a side story, I just found out that still-current Asteroids record holder Scott Safran died at the age of 22 after a six-story fall while attempting to rescue his cat from a balcony. While not nearly as tragic as had he been struck by an actual asteroid, that's still strikes me as kinda fucked.

Update #2: Currently it is 8:19PM Pacific Standard Time and Mr. McCallister is still on course to break the record. Moments ago he overtook the second highest score of all time (40,101,910 set by Leo Daniels of Wilmington, NC in 1982), and still has half a screen's width worth of extra lives.

Barring power outages, eerie asteroid strikes or McAllister totally screwing the pooch, my next update should congratulate him on breaking the record.

Update #3: As of 10:17PM Pacific Standard Time he's done it. After nearly 4 days of continuous play, John McCallister has broken the 27-year-old world record on Asteroids.

He's still playing, and officiating body Twin Galaxies has yet to receive and pore over his run with a fine toothed comb, so it may be weeks before we can officially say just how high John has set the new world record, but if you see him at a bar feel free to buy him a beer and/or give him deep tongue kisses.