Remember the '80s? Remember that huge satellite dish in your backyard? Remember porn? Remember trying to watch scrambled porn on satellite TV? REMEMBER HOW FRUSTRATING THAT WAS?? Well, thanks to the "American Exxxtasy Descrambler" now you can watch all the unscrambled porn you want (including the highly anticipated "Sex Crimes 2084") in the privacy of your own home.
Thanks topless lady in overalls making sketchy eye contact! (Umm... okay, you can close your legs now. You're making me feel awkward.)

P.S. I call dibs on the music at the end of this video as "Wm.™ Steven Humphrey's Personal Theme Music."