Okay, junior. You don't want to play football? That's fine by me, but there's NO WAY IN HELL you're going to sit around MY house playing videogames all day. So here's what we're gonna do: You're going to train to be a tight-rope walker, and... DON'T YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME, YOUNG MAN! I'm fucking serious, here! You're going to learn to walk the tight-rope, and you're going to do it at least 30 feet above the ground, just like grownups do. Oh, and to make it a little more interesting (for me)? Underneath you, on the ground, will be five ravenous tigers—so slipping isn't exactly an option, is it?
Oh, so now you're gonna cry? I'LL give you something to cry about, you big baby!! Now get on that goddamn tight-rope!!