COALITION GOVERNMENT!!! British voters look to be on a "collision course," writes the Murdoch-owned Sun. What the paper really means is, "this isn't what we wanted."

HUGH HEFNER SAVES HOLLYWOOD SIGN!!! Of course he does.

SOON TO SAY: WIG-WOOD.
  • SOON TO SAY: "WIG-WOOD."

BOOBQUAKE!!! An Iranian cleric is blaming immodestly-dressed women for causing earthquakes. So a group of women is taking to the streets to bear their cleavage and prove him wrong.

VLADIMIR PUTIN: TOTALLY NOT GAY!!! He is of "traditional orientation," he says.

LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN BY TRADITIONAL
  • "LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN BY TRADITIONAL"

REED MAKES THE NYT!!! For its drug deaths.

BLANKFEIN ON THE HILL!!! Goldman Sachs CEO will do his best to explain why precipitating the mortgage crisis was kosher.

REID IT AND WEEP!!! Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has scheduled new votes on the financial reform bill for today and tomorrow. The Republicans don't even want to debate it.

IRON MAN TWO: SHITE!!! Full of “noise, confusion, multiple villains, irrelevant stunts and misguided story lines,” writes the first reviewer at the Hollywood Reporter. Sounds like a better episode of Knight Rider. Seriously. I watched one on Hulu last night called Knight Moves.

Good day.