Previous to winning the golden ticket and getting press access to the Blazers, I just assumed all NBA players were blessed physical specimens with flawless genetics that never required any additional exercise. Considering that they played basketball for the majority of the day, any outside workouts would be excessive and most likely limited to rehabilitating injuries.

Nope. Turns out that every player engages in some sort of intense regiment off the court—from Travis Outlaw's post-game weight lifting sessions, to Brandon Roy's love of swimming—well, every player but Andre Miller. According to this TrueHoop piece (written by Mercury freelancer Andrew Tonry), the NBA's least-injured player (over 600 consecutive games and counting) is just now, at age 34, learning about calories. He also takes pride in not doing a damn thing when the season ends:

"I have no regimen," Miller says. After the season ends, so does Miller's working out — no weights, no cardio, no nothing. "I really don't pick up a basketball."

Eating right also falls by the wayside. "(My diet) isn't healthy at all," Miller says. "Hamburgers, hot links on the Fourth of July, all that."

To control his weight, however, Miller uses old-fashioned discipline. "I starve myself," he says.

Seriously? "Yeah, I'm just starting to learn about calories and all that."

All of this is maddening when you consider how naturally the game comes for Miller, and how on a team full of injured players, he has managed to stay perfectly healthy for the entire season. You see that, Oden? No more exercise for you.