Oil from the big spill off the Louisiana coast is said to have washed ashore overnight, meaning potential big trouble for Louisiana's fisheries and wildlife.
The economy grows again, for the third straight quarter. Republicans respond, "But... but... if it weren't for Obama, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place!!"
The person who found and sold the next gen iPhone to Gizmodo admits he made a mistake, and begged Steve Jobs not to extinguish all life on the planet.
In hillbilly news: Houston police are accused of beating a Chinese diplomat and possibly invading their consulate. Whoops. (Thanks to Blogtown tipper/diplomat Rob for that one!)
A farmer in China attacked five preschoolers with a hammer, in what was the THIRD attack on school children this week! All together now, WTF??
After increasing pressure from the Independent Police Review panel, Portland Chief Rosie Sizer has reversed her previous decision and will discipline Officer Ronald Frashour for using a tazer on someone who was trying to videotape him in 2006. (Pro tip: Frashour is also the one who shot unarmed Aaron Campbell in the back in January.)
In sports.... well, you know what happened.
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Mostly sunny, low 60s through the weekend, with showers returning on Monday.
And finally, a news anchor calls milk "jizm" on air—leading to one of the most hilariously awkward pauses in recent TV history.