God bless KATU for inviting all nine of the Republicans running for governor in the May primary on TV for a debate. And God bless Food Editor Patrick Alan Coleman for actually watching the debate this past Sunday night, so he could report back to us that it was a complete and total freakshow.

Several of the candidates of your typical Tea Party nutbags. But one shining candidate, Bob Forthan, takes it to another level. Things get off to a good start when KATU host Steve Dunn noted that Forthan has run for governor four times and for president in 2008. Also, Forthan is wearing a shiny, shiny shirt.

Question: What should we do to fix Oregon's unemployment?
Bob Forthan's answer:
Sue grocery stores for being a monopoly. They make over $100 million a year in profits. And then I live in East County and they have huge lots. With those lots I would have the individuals grow a cow or some crop and they would need someone to help them grow the crop. And then I would pass a law where there's a $2,000 maximum or minimum of salary for, uh, the residents of Oregon. That little salary there would stimulate thousands and thousands of jobs.

Question: What should Oregon's healthcare system look like?
Bob Forthan's answer:

I'm for ending all insurances, and healthcare is one of them. Take for instance, if you live in Haiti. There are seven million people and one hospital. That means they were taking care of themselves. That's the type of hospitalization I would like to see in Oregon. Take the abandoned grocery stores and turn those into basically triage places. You go there first. If you're deemed to go to the hospital, the hospital decides if you're worth living. If you're worth living.

Question: How can Oregon make its tax system more stable?
Bob Forthan's answer:

Well the only thing I can think of is a sales tax. I want to somehow get a $2,000 threshold for employment and with that $2,000 threshold, tax people as much as I can... I would love to build dome homes, structures that's gonna house people, that limit what people, limit salaries. Everything's in the billion dollar salaries.

Bob Forthan: The pro-dome home, pro-HaitiHealthcareTM, anti-grocery store Republican for Oregon. Watch all the what-the-fuckery here at KATU.