- Who wants cake?
I was sent, on behalf of the Portland Mercury, to buy some lucky immigrant their first beer as a citizen. Alas, my toast to a better America was made all alone. Most attended the ceremony with their family, so they got a pass. I guess. But one guy looked me in the eye and said, "Sorry, I don't drink," while holding a glass of champagne. Then he asked me where to apply for a job in politics. You should worry for the future of our country when it is nigh impossible to find a drinking partner at one o'clock in the afternoon on Cinco de freaking Mayo.
- Welcome, fellow white person!
Part of the naturalization process requires candidates to take a 100-question citizenship test. It'd be really interesting to see how many of you
shiftless layabouts Blogtown readers would be able to pass this test.