JESUS CHRIST.

On April 18, officers responded to a residence to assist the Arcata Mad River Ambulance with a 31-year-old male subject who had just castrated himself. Medical personnel and officers were unable to locate the subject's testicles. He later told officers that he flushed them down the toilet as he feared they contained "monsters."

... On May 8, a 21-year-old male subject took LSD and wandered away from his residence. He left his shoes, adequate clothing, and cell phone behind and did not tell anyone where he was going. He wandered around the forest for days while concerned friends and family looked for him. He eventually returned a couple days later.

On May 9, officers responded to the Mad River Hospital to assist with a combative 19-year-old male subject who was undergoing "flashbacks." The subject had ingested LSD two weeks ago. Today, officers found him standing in the field being held by three friends who were attempting to get him into the emergency room....

Last night, officers responded to the 900 block of H Street where an 18-year-old male subject, who was under the influence of LSD, was throwing himself on the ground in the middle of the street. He was arrested and taken to jail.

Also last night, May 11, officers from APD assisted officers from UPD arrest a subject who was under the influence of LSD.

Officers from the Arcata Police Department also had two additional contacts with unrelated subjects undergoing "flashbacks."

Via io9.

Obviously, there's only one man who can fix this.