Unsurprisingly, there were "strong warning signs" before the Deepwater Horizon oil rig exploded last month. Also unsurprisingly, a witness says BP took dangerous short cuts to save money. UNSURPRISE!!
But don't worry folks! BP has a brand new and completely untested method for stopping the oil spill that may, or may not, work! Ahh, the confidence they exude!
North Korea is threatening to block cross-border traffic with South Korea and blow up their loudspeakers. (Well, they do play their crazy rock and roll music too loud.)
Meanwhile in Jamaica, 44 are dead so far in clashes between security forces and drug gangs.
Facebook CEO caves and vows to roll out "new, simpler privacy controls that even an idiot like you can use, and I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU'RE MAKING US DO THIS!! WAHHHHHH!!"
Obama heckles a heckler about "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," when he should in fact be heckled! Heckle! Heckle!
Sandra Bullock's cheating hubby Jesse James claims he was abused by his father, and is wondering if that will make you like him better. Then he wonders aloud if he should've said that last part out loud.
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: RAIN.
And finally, the man in the following video threatens to have sex on his mom's bed... but I'm kinda thinking he really just wants to have sex with his mom.