If you picked up this week's paper, you may have been lucky enough to get a copy that includes our new Southeast Neighborhood Guide that's contained inside. (The papers distributed in Southeast Portland should have one in there, plus a couple bonus areas have 'em too.) We humbly believe this guide is zillions better than the previous neighborhood guides we've done—because instead of our usual, half-assed attempts at humorous info-tainment, this time we got an expert guide to introduce all the different sections in the booklet. She earned a bunch of merit badges on different fields of expertise of Southeast Portland. And these merit badges are, like, totally real and not at all fake or made up, okay?

Anyway—be sure to check out the Southeast Neighborhood Guide. It contains lots of places to eat and drink and buy stuff. It's like the phone book, but better, and with a trained guide to walk you through it. Not like that asshole Dex. (Big thanks to Nicole Lavelle, Elizabeth Jaeger, and Justin Flood for their help in putting it all together.)